and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
