Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
