wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
