i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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