nut hugger
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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