Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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