she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
