I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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