So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
