i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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