I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize