her vagine was all disorganized.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize