Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need a beard to bite.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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