Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
