TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
