so explain again why im purple
no
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
