THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
