Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
