what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
