it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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