You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
