So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
