This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
