Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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