I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
