i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
