she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Im part way to drunk.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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