If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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