Can i not drive my cunt home
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
