either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
