so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
