i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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