we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
