You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
