This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
