We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
