do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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