38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
