hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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