If i could tip my vagina, i would.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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