it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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