yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
