How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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