Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
