I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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