I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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