can we get nightvision for the apartment?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize