dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
