ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
