They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
