My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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