it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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