i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
