Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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